ICS Inter-Community School Library: PYP SEL: Relationship Skills

What does it mean?

The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships and to effectively navigate settings with diverse individuals and groups. This includes the capacities to communicate clearly, listen actively, cooperate, work collaboratively to problem solve and negotiate conflict constructively, navigate settings with differing social and cultural demands and opportunities, provide leadership, and seek or offer help when needed. Such as:

Communicating effectively
Developing positive relationships
Demonstrating cultural competency
Practicing teamwork and collaborative problem-solving
Resolving conflicts constructively • Resisting negative social pressure
Showing leadership in groups
Seeking or offering support and help when needed
Standing up for the rights of others

Relationship Skills | Social-Emotional Learning
Learn to help students develop key skills for successful relationships: communication, cooperation and conflict resolution. Educators can help students develop these skills by working together in groups and discussing roles. Parents can support their children by spending time with them and encouraging communication.

Discussion Questions

What characteristics did [character] have that made them a good friend?
What characteristics was [character] looking for in a friend?
Why was it important that [character] cooperated with [character]?
Do you think [character] could accomplish their task by themselves?
What was the relationship between [character] and [character]?
How was [character] able to put aside their feelings towards [character] to work together?
Why is it sometimes hard to cooperate??
In what ways did [character] depend on others?
How can positive relationships with others help us overcome difficult situations?
What characteristics make up a good/healthy/positive relationship?
What are the benefits of a good/healthy/positive relationship?
How can your actions affect a relationship with others?
How does (honesty, communication, empathy, etc) affect relationships with others?

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Characteristics & Key Benefits

Characteristics

Establishing and maintaining positive and diverse relationships
Communicating with and listening attentively to others
Recognising inappropriate social pressure and resisting getting involved in negative behaviours
Cooperating with others in teamwork, including those who are not friends
Negotiating and resolving conflict constructively
Seeking and offering help when needed
Understanding the difference between unhealthy and healthy relationships

Benefits

Improved self-esteem and self-confidence
Confidence to ask and offer help
Learning ways to make, keep and deal with friendships
Increased positive interactions in the classroom
Reduced conflicts and the ability to resolve issues
Improved interaction with adults and peers
Increased positive mood and behaviour
Learning strategies to cope in tough situations

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Relationship Skills Activities

1. “Make New Friends” Bingo

“Make New Friends” Bingo is a fun and interactive game for developing social skills, particularly verbal and nonverbal communication.[3] You can play it at the beginning of the school year or anytime you want to have a get-to-know-you activity in class.

To play, make a bingo card with generic traits in each box, like “I have a pet” or “I was born in the summertime.” Have your students try to find a different person for each square until they get five in a row. Then, ask each student to share something interesting about themselves that correlates to a box with the class.

2. Team Puzzle Game

Put students into teams of three to five and give each one a jigsaw puzzle to put together. Instruct them that to complete the puzzle, they need to work together as a group. For an added challenge that encourages teamwork, try giving your students a time limit for completing the puzzle.

When students work together, even younger grades can put together complex puzzles. Your students will be amazed by how much they can get done with a little collaboration!

3. Conflict Resolution Read-Along

Helping children resolve conflicts teaches them skills that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. And, thanks to the timeless lessons they teach, fairy tale read-alongs can help your class get a discussion on conflict resolution skills going.[4]

Choose a beloved fairy tale to read as a class, like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Little Red Riding Hood, or Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. As you read the story to your students, ask them the following questions:

What is this story’s main conflict?
What do the main characters want to happen?
How can the characters work together to make everyone happy?

Then, turn the discussion to recent conflicts students have had in their life. Have your children share about times when, like the fairy tale characters, they felt conflict with another person. Ask them how they worked with that person to make the situation better, as well as any advice they have to share with the class.

Waterford.org

Relationship Skills Videos

Books in the Library

Swimmy by Leo Lionni (Illustrator)
A little fish, the lone survivor of a school of fish swallowed by a tuna, devises a plan to camouflage himself and his new companions."
How To by Julie Morstad
This imaginative 'how to' book explores whimsical ways of doing a host of different tasks, including 'how to wonder', 'how to see the breeze' and 'how to be brave'
Sam and Dave Dig a Hole by Mac Barnett; Jon Klassen (Illustrator)
Sam and Dave are on a mission. A mission to find something spectacular. So they dig a hole. And they keep digging. And they find . . . nothing. Yet the day turns out to be pretty spectacular after all.
Pool by Jihyeon Lee
What happens when two shy children meet at a very crowded pool? Dive in to find out! Deceptively simple, this masterful book tells a story of quiet moments and surprising encounters, and reminds us that friendship and imagination have no bounds.
The Almost Impossible Thing by Basak Agaoglu
Nothing is so impossible that it shouldn't be tried. Even if you're a bunny hoping to fly.
The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (Illustrator)
When something sad happens, Taylor doesn't know where to turn. All the animals are sure they have the answer. The chicken wants to talk it out, but Taylor doesn't feel like chatting. The bear thinks Taylor should get angry, but that's not quite right either. One by one, the animals try to tell Taylor how to act, and one by one they fail to offer comfort. Then the rabbit arrives. All the rabbit does is listen . . . which is just what Taylor needs.
The Legend of Rock Paper Scissors by Drew Daywalt; Adam Rex (Illustrator)
A laugh-out-loud hilarious picture book about the epic tale of the classic game Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Nothing Rhymes with Orange by Adam Rex
We all know nothing rhymes with orange, but how does that make Orange feel? Well, left out, obviously! When a fruit parade gets together to sing a song about how wonderful they are--and the song happens to rhyme--Orange can't help but feel like it's impossible to ever fit in. But when one particularly intuitive Apple notices how Orange is feeling, the entire English language begins to become a bit more inclusive.
Boot and Shoe by Marla Frazee (Illustrator)
Boot and Shoe were born into the same litter, and now they live in the same house. They eat out of the same bowl, pee on the same tree, and sleep in the same bed. But they spend their days apart--Boot on the back porch because he's a back porch kind of dog, and Shoe on the front porch because he's a front porch kind of dog. This is exactly perfect for them. But then a crazy neighborhood squirrel arrives . . . and everything goes topsy-turvy!
Big Cat, Little Cat by Elisha Cooper
There was a cat who lived alone.Until the daya new cat came . . . And so a story of friendship begins, following two cats through their days, months, and years until one day, the older cat has to go. And he doesn't come back.
If You Plant a Seed by Kadir Nelson (Illustrator)
If you plant a carrot seed . . . a carrot will grow. If you plant a cabbage seed . . . cabbage will grow. But what happens if you plant a seed of kindness . . . or selfishness
Du Iz Tak? by Carson Ellis (Illustrator)
Du iz tak? What is that? As a tiny shoot unfurls, two damselflies peer at it in wonder. When the plant grows taller and sprouts leaves, some young beetles arrive to gander, and soon--with the help of a pill bug named Icky--they wrangle a ladder and build a tree fort. But this is the wild world, after all, and something horrible is waiting to swoop down--booby voobeck!--only to be carried off in turn. Su!
Going Places by Paul A. Reynolds; Peter H. Reynolds (Illustrator)
It's time for this year's Going Places contest! Finally. Time to build a go-cart, race it--and win. Each kid grabs an identical kit, and scrambles to build. Everyone but Maya. She sure doesn't seem to be in a hurry...and that sure doesn't look like anybody else's go-cart! But who said it had to be a go-cart? And who said there's only one way to cross the finish line?
Draw the Line by Kathryn Otoshi
When two boys draw their own lines and realize they can connect them together--magic happens! But a misstep causes their lines to get crossed. Push! Pull! Tug! Yank! Soon their line unravels into an angry tug-of-war. With a growing rift between them, will the boys ever find a way to come together again?
When the Cousins Came by Katie Yamasaki
Lila is excited for her cousins Takeo and Rosie to visit. They're going to ride bikes, paint, and camp together! But when the cousins arrive, everything's wrong: Rosie and Takeo are better painters than Lila, have skateboards instead of bikes, and don't want to camp outside. Lila is terribly disappointed until the cousins make her a surprise: a big banner for their "best cousin" Lila!
Lousy Rotten Stinkin' Grapes by Margie Palatini; Barry Moser (Illustrator)
Fox wants the grapes, but they're too high for him to reach. He's nothing if not crafty, and in this humorous new spin on the well-known fable, fox's scheme is taken to new heights.
Warm Winter by Feridun Oral (Illustrator)
One cold winter morning Little Mouse ventures out in search of enough firewood to heat his nest. But when he tries to drag his pile home, he realizes everything he's gathered is much too heavy for him. Maybe his friends can help out, but they'd better hurry, because there's a blizzard on the way. If they can find a way to work together and keep each other safe, maybe they can all have the warm winter they've been hoping for.
This Moose Belongs to Me by Oliver Jeffers (Illustrator)
Wilfred is a boy with rules. He lives a very orderly life. It's fortunate, then, that he has a pet who abides by rules, such as not making noise while Wilfred educates him on his record collection. There is, however, one rule that Wilfred's pet has difficulty following: Going whichever way Wilfred wants to go. Perhaps this is because Wilfred's pet doesn't quite realize that he belongs to anyone. A moose can be obstinate in such ways. Fortunately, the two manage to work out a compromise. Let's just say it involves apples.
A Big Guy Took My Ball! (an Elephant and Piggie Book) by Mo Willems (Illustrator)
Gerald is careful. Piggie is not. Piggie cannot help smiling. Gerald can. Gerald worries so that Piggie does not have to. Gerald and Piggie are best friends. In A Big Guy Took My Ball! Piggie is devastated when a big guy takes her ball! Gerald is big, too...but is he big enough to help his best friend?
The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson; Rafael López (Illustrator); Rafael López (Illustrator)
There will be times when you walk into a room and no one there is quite like you. There are many reasons to feel different. Maybe it's how you look or talk, or where you're from; maybe it's what you eat, or something just as random. It's not easy to take those first steps into a place where nobody really knows you yet, but somehow you do it.
The Hello, Goodbye Window by Norton Juster; Chris Raschka (Illustrator)
The kitchen window at Nanna and Poppy's house is, for one little girl, a magic gateway. Everything important happens near it, through it, or beyond it. The world for this little girl will soon grow larger and more complex, but never more enchanting or deeply felt.
The Hueys In It Wasn't Me by Oliver Jeffers
A Letter to Amy by Ezra Jack Keats (Illustrator)
The dilemma faced by a boy who wants to invite a girl to his all-boy birthday party.
Lost and Found Cat by Doug Kuntz; Amy Shrodes; Sue Cornelison (Illustrator)
This heartwarming true story of one lost cat's journey to be reunited with his refugee family gently introduces children to a difficult topic and shows how ordinary people can help with compassion and hope.
My Two Blankets by Irena Kobald
Owl Moon by Jane Yolen
Late one winter night a little girl and her father go owling. The trees stand still as statues and the world is silent as a dream. Whoo-whoo-whoo, the father calls to the mysterious nighttime bird. But there is no answer. Wordlessly the two companions walk along, for when you go owling you don't need words. You don't need anything but hope. Sometimes there isn't an owl, but sometimes there is.
A Sick Day for Amos Mcgee by Philip C. Stead; Erin E. Stead (Illustrator)
Friends come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. In Amos McGee's case, all sorts of species, too! Every day he spends a little bit of time with each of his friends at the zoo, running races with the tortoise, keeping the shy penguin company, and even reading bedtime stories to the owl. But when Amos is too sick to make it to the zoo, his animal friends decide it's time they returned the favor.
The Silence Seeker by Ben Morley; Carl Pearce (Illustrator)
When a new family moves in next door, Joe's mum explains that they are asylum seekers. Joe hears that they are silence seekers, especially as Mum adds that they need peace and quiet. When he sees a young boy from the family sitting disconsolately on the steps, Joe decides to help him find a quiet place in the noisy and chaotic city.
Stick and Stone by Beth Ferry; Tom Lichtenheld (Illustrator)
When Stick rescues Stone from a prickly situation with a Pinecone, a friendship is born. But when Stick gets stuck, can Stone return the favor?
Voices in the Park by Anthony Browne; Dorling Kindersley Publishing Staff
Four people enter a park, and through their eyes we see four different visions. There's the bossy woman, the sad man, the lonely boy and the young girl whose warmth touches those she meets. As the story moves from one voice to another, their perspectives are reflected in the shifting landscape and seasons.
We Found a Hat by Jon Klassen (Illustrator)
Two turtles have found a hat. The hat looks good on both of them. But there are two turtles. And there is only one hat. . . .
Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox; Julie Vivas (Illustrator)
In this very special story, Wilfrid Gordon helps his 96-year-old friend, Miss Nancy, regain some of her memories.
Milo's Monster by Tom Percival
Milo and Jay have always been best friends . . . until one day, a green-eyed monster appears! A book about dealing with jealousy.
Stick and Stone: Best Friends Forever! by Beth Ferry; Tom Lichtenheld (Illustrator)
This ode to unconditional love is a new picture book adventure for New York Times bestselling BFFs Stick and Stone, in which Stick searches for his family tree and discovers the importance of found family and forever friends.
How to Apologize by David LaRochelle; Mike Wohnoutka (Illustrator)
A funny and handy guide that explains just how (and how not!) to say "I'm sorry." Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone knew how to apologize?
From My Head to My Toes I Say What Goes by Charlotte Barkla; Jacqui Lee (Illustrator)
From My Head to My Toes, I Say What Goes! is a light-hearted exploration of boundaries, nestled in a fun and lively story. I might say YES to pillow fights; a kiss when I'm tucked in at night. I might say NO to climbing high, a tickling game or a hug goodbye. The book discusses consent and control for a young audience, through a story that is bold and beautiful, loud and proud.
Mole Is Not Alone by Maya Tatsukawa (Illustrator)
In this cozy picture book about friendship, Mole anxiously decides to journey through underground tunnels to attend a party. Mole is invited to a party, which is very worrisome. What if the party is too rowdy for Mole? What if Mole doesn't know anyone there? What if Mole is just too shy to make friends? Mole worries through the tunnels, around Snake's burrow, under the forest, past Bear's den, and all the way to Rabbit's door. But despite all those worries, maybe Mole can find a quiet way to make friends . . .
Time Machine by Pauline David-Sax
That's the day she said the Thing that made her best friend so mad. But when it's complete, Bailey discovers the only thing harder than building a time machine is having the courage to revisit a moment you regret.
Goodbye, Friend! Hello, Friend! by Cori Doerrfeld
A gentle story about the difficulty of change . . . and the wonder that new beginnings can bring. Change and transitions are hard, but Goodbye, Friend! Hello, Friend! demonstrates how, when one experience ends, it opens the door for another to begin.
The Boy with Flowers in His Hair by Jarvis (Illustrator)
A moving tale of friendship, kindness, and acceptance, softly touching on the subjects of illness or hardship in a way that young children can understand. Everyone likes David, the boy with flowers in his hair. He's sweet and gentle, just like his colorful petals. David and his best friend have a great time together, finding the good puddles, making up songs, and running away from the bees. But one day David comes to school wearing a hat, and he is quiet. When he takes off the hat, his bright petals flutter down like butterflies. Now, where his flowers were looks twiggy and prickly, causing the other children to stay away. But David's best friend has an idea--a way to help David get his color back.

Classroom Activities for Practicing Relationship Skills

Practicing Relationship Skills
Relationship skills are an important component of Social Emotional Learning (SEL). As with each element of SEL, it is important that students be provided with direct skill instruction, opportunities for structured practice, and explicit feedback. Included are some possible suggestions for the incorporation of direct instruction, practice, and feedback in the classroom.